


A (but not The) Proposal

by someidiothasice



Category: Inception
Genre: A (but not The) Proposal, Fake Relationship, Fusion, Gay romcom, Let's deport Arthur yay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-15
Updated: 2012-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-31 05:29:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someidiothasice/pseuds/someidiothasice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Arthur, you're about to be deported."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A (but not The) Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foxxcub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxxcub/gifts).



  


"You're probably wondering why we called you in here," Saito said. Arthur didn't fidget, he was far too dignified for that. He just shifted his weight.

"If this is about the Nolan novel, I can assure you that we've managed to track down the missing pages and there's a courier coming back from San Diego right now--"

"That's not the issue, Arthur. We could care less about the pages," Saito started.

Dominic cleared his throat and took over. "Of course we trust you to get them here in time. You've never given us any reason to doubt you would make a deadline. This is about your citizenship."

"My... What?" Arthur asked. His iPhone buzzed in his pocket, but he ignored it.

"Arthur, you're about to be deported."

"What? How does that? How? I can't be deported." Arthur took a surprised step back, but to his credit he didn't clutch at his chest like he really wanted to. "I've got too much to do!"

"Arthur, you're a workaholic. You've been so busy trying to get everything done and then some that you never remembered the things you had to take care of in your personal life. If you even have one. You work seventy hour weeks, and I can't remember the name of your last significant other." Dominic gave Arthur an apologetic look. "To be fair, I brought up the citizenship issue at least twice in the past six months."

"I have a personal life! I just don't bring it with me to the office!" Arthur retorted, placing his hands on his hips. "And for the record, one of those times you interrupted a very important meeting I had--" the intercom on Saito's desk buzzed but they all ignored it when Arthur spoke over it, "with the Fischers on the biography deal."

"Immigration just called. You have got to go back to Canada for a full year. And you leave tomorrow." Saito held his hands out, palms up. "There is nothing we can do about this. You should not have ignored it for so long."

"This is crazy. You've got to be kidding me."

There was a sharp knock on the door before it opened. "Excuse me, Mr. Saito," the secretary apologized as she walked in. She was working on a tablet, had a Bluetooth in her ear and still gave him her full attention. "There is a very determined man standing behind me who is demanding to see Arthur." She looked over at Arthur and gave him a warm smile. "Good morning, Arthur. Sorry I didn't get to say it earlier."

Arthur gave her a tight grin.

"Thank you, Ariadne," Dominic said. Saito rolled his eyes but waved at her.

"Let him in." She turned and walked out, leaving the door open.

Eames stuck his head in the door timidly. "Good morning, Mr. Saito, Mr. Cobb. Arthur, can I steal you for just a moment?"

Arthur boggled at him. "What? No, I'm in the middle of something!" Eames made a face at him, then sent Saito and Dominic a forced smile.

"Arthur, it's extremely important," Eames tried again. Arthur looked at his bosses. They were both staring at him pointedly with their arms crossed.

"Just. One minute, give me one minute and we'll get this all sorted out." Arthur moved quickly to the door and glared at his assistant. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

"I just got off the phone with Maurice Fischer. He wants Robert out," Eames hissed back. Arthur shut his eyes and rubbed at his forehead.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I needed to tell you before legal comes down here and causes a scene, because you know they will," Eames whispered. "We've got about an hour before the shit hits the fan. We're going to need you downstairs quick."

"Okay, look. Only go through Yusuf, he's trustworthy." Arthur and took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He stared Eames dead in the eye. "Eames, you're going to have to take care of this for me."

"Please tell me you're joking," Eames said quietly. "You can't just dump this on me!"

"Eames," Arthur began, but Eames wouldn't back down.

"No, I'm about to go on vacation in two days. I am not postponing it again." Eames crossed his arms in a visible show of defiance, but at least he kept his voice low. "I haven't even met my goddaughter yet."

"Eames," Arthur tried again. Eames just steamrolled right over him.

"My grandmother claims she's forgotten what my face looks like. You know I haven't been home in almost two years? This is going to take months to take care of, where the hell are you--"

"Eames!" Arthur shouted.

"Arthur, look." Arthur and Eames both jumped and looked over their shoulders at Dominic. "While you're gone we'll be putting Nash in charge of your department."

This time Arthur did clutch his chest. "Nash?! You... You can't do that!"

Eames fought not to smile and raised his voice. "That might be hard, sirs. Arthur fired Nash about twenty minutes ago." Arthur could hear the glee in his voice and glared daggers at him. "Didn't you, darling?" Eames added the last part in a lower register but unfortunately it carried.

Arthur caught Dom's raised eyebrow and Saito's amused smirk and he felt a hot flush of anger at Eames' blithe social ignorance.

"What have I told you about that?" Arthur hissed. Eames let just the corner of his mouth curl into a smirk. Arthur narrowed his eyes at Eames, then he blinked suddenly and fixed him with an assessing look. He stayed quiet for just long enough to make it feel significant, then he let out his breath in a sigh. "Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. We've got a reason to tell everyone, now."

"Tell us what, Arthur?" Dominic asked. Arthur slid a stiff arm around a very surprised Eames' waist and tugged him into the office.

"It started about eight months ago. We tried to stop, even to see other people, but in the end the attraction was far too strong," he said, pinching Eames' back. "We've decided to get married."

"Married," Dominic repeated.

"Married?" Eames asked, staring at Arthur with a stupefied expression on his face.

"Married," Arthur confirmed. He dug his nails into Eames' back through his shirt and Eames jumped.

"Yes, married." Eames nodded painfully. He raised his arm and draped it awkwardly around Arthur's shoulder. Arthur tried not to flinch and failed.

"You two," Saito said, gesturing between them. Arthur gave him a big smile. "I had no idea you were even together. Or that Eames was a United States citizen."

"Oh, I've been for years," Eames said helpfully. "My father moved us to Aurelia when I was ten. That's in Iowa. _Savor the sweet life_ , that was our town motto. I haven't been back to the mother country in over a decade."

"That's right. We were keeping it quiet, because we wanted to tell our families first, but now there's no reason for everyone not to know about our love." Arthur slid his hand to Eames' hip and patted it haltingly.

Eames grimaced through a smile and squeezed Arthur's shoulder. Hard. "That's right, our... love." He huffed out a laugh and tugged Arthur closer. "He just can't get enough of me."

"Honey," Arthur grit out, "inappropriate for work. We've had this discussion."

"Righto." Eames gave Arthur a rough shake and pulled his arm away.

"So we're just gonna, uh, go down to see that guy from Immigration. Get this all sorted out." Arthur tugged Eames back towards the door. Saito eyed them with distrust but Dominic gave them a slow smile.

"Good, you do that. You know, I always wondered about you two," he added with a chuckle. Arthur made a low sound in the back of his throat. "Congratulations. Go on, get this taken care of and let us know when it's done."

Arthur nodded and Eames snapped off a salute as Arthur dragged him out of the offfice.

"Oh, and Arthur?" Dominic called out. Arthur paused and looked over his shoulder. "Let's us know the date, too."

* * *

"Are you out of your sodding mind?" Eames asked the moment the glass door to Arthur's office was shut. "I'm not marrying you!"

"Please, do you think being chained to you is a lifestyle choice I would make on my own if I wasn't desperate?" Arthur snapped. "I'm about to be deported! All you've got to do is play the part of my doting fiancé for a couple of hours down at Immigration. Then we can go to the courthouse and sign a piece of paper that says that I can continue to live here. After we get my legal issues settled, which should only take a few months, we can get divorced."

"Oh, lovely. I'll be the gay divorcee," Eames spat out. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You'll do it, Eames. It's not a question, it's an order."

"Or you'll what, fire me?"

"If I have to, yes. I have some very unflattering pictures of you from the Non-Denominational Holiday Party last year that corporate won't like."

"Unless they are of me sodomizing a goat you are out of luck, buster." Eames placed his hands on his hips. Arthur crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on his desk, taking a moment. Maybe you really can catch more flies with honey. He tried a different tactic.

"How about if I offer to publish that thing you carry around in your corny messenger bag?"

"It's not corny, it's practical when you ride a bicycle-- wait, what?" Eames stopped himself and stared at Arthur. "You're serious."

"I'll read it over the weekend when we go to see your parents, because I'm probably going to have to go with you now, and if it's not complete drivel I will personally handle it."

Eames stared at Arthur. And stared at him.

"Let me just get this clear. You're willing to buy my hand in marriage with a possible maybe on getting my book published so you don't get thrown back up at Canada like the wanker you have been to me the past three years?"

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "If your writing is passable then it shouldn't be a problem."

"I want a guarantee." Eames stood his ground. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Alright, fine. If you do this I will publish your stupid book." Eames grinned, enjoying himself.

"And you'll make me an editor."

"Now that's going too far," Arthur started, but Eames just shrugged.

"Hey, you need a husband. I need a real job. You think I want to fetch your coffee forever? This is one you know I can do. Remember that time you pawned the Hastings book off on me? And then the time you threw the _other_ Hastings book at me? And then the third time that Ira Hastings wrote--"

"Alright, I get it. You can edit well enough." Arthur's nostrils flared as he pushed himself to his feet. He marched over to Eames and poked him in the chest. "If you agree to marry me and help keep me in this country, then yes. I will not only publish your little book," Arthur paused to sneer at him, "but I will also make you an editor. It might take a little while, but I promise it will happen."

"Well, that's not very romantic," Eames cocked a hip out and smirked at his 'boss.' Arthur forced himself not to drive a pen through Eames' eyesocket. "Call me an old fashioned kind of a guy, but I want a real proposal."

Arthur stared at Eames, the hot flush of anger returning to creep up his neck. At least, he hoped he could play it off as anger and not I-could-die-from-the-embarrassment humiliation.

Eames stared back.

For almost an entire minute neither one of them moved. Then Eames pointed to the floor.

"Down on one knee, _darling._ "

"You're loving this, aren't you?" Arthur grumbled as he dropped to one knee. He folded his hands over his bent knee and looked up at Eames. "Will you marry me?"

"Not feeling very wooed here, precious," Eames said through a fake yawn. Arthur's glare could cut diamonds. He reached forward for Eames' hand and pick it up very softly. He held it up and covered it with his other hand.

"Mr. Eames," he said quietly. "Would you do me the honor of becoming my lawfully, and now legally recognized in the state of New York, wedded husband?"

"That just didn't even sound right," Eames stated. Arthur harrumphed.

"Eames, you're the biggest pain in the ass I know." He stood up, but he kept Eames' hand clutched between his own and brought it up to his chest. "But, despite the everyday headaches you give me, you ultimately make my life easier and I would truly be lost without you. Please, Eames." He brought Eames' hand up to his lips and brushed a kiss over his knuckles. "Marry me?"

Eames let himself get caught up in Arthur's doe eyes for just the tiniest fraction of a second. Then he pulled his hand back and turned around.

"Alright, fine," he said over his shoulder as he walked to the door. He watched as four of the other office drones looked down immediately at their desks. He just bet that Ariadne had already gotten to them, the little minx. He smirked and held the door open wide, making sure his voice carried. "But you're taking me to Kenya for our honeymoon, petal. And explaining this to my family this weekend."

The horrified stares he got from the other employees as he walked back to his desk were almost enough to make him want to burst out laughing. He just had to concentrate on trying not burst into tears, first.

The weekend was going to be an intersting one. And, Eames was positive, _long._

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the lovely [foxxcub](http://archiveofourown.org/users/foxxcub/pseuds/foxxcub), who wanted a Proposal fic. It's a tad late for Valentine's Day, but I did what I could. Hope you liked it, babe!


End file.
